Not Really There
by Cassie-the-Librarian
Summary: Riley Mathews and Maya Hart are best friends. They like to hang out together and they even played a prank on Farkle together the other day. They only problem? Maya has been dead for 2 months. Will Riley ever be ready to let her best friend go? (hints of self harm in later chapters)
1. Everybody Knows

**Hey guys, so I got this idea in my head and I decided to write about it. I had a hard time writing this first chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own GMW**

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Riley Matthews woke up and found her best friend, Maya Hart, sitting in her window seat, looking down drawing in a drawing pad.

"Morning." Riley said as she sat up in her bed.

Maya looked up and laughed when she saw her friend had a bad case of bed head.

"What?" Riley asked.

"Just a sec." She looked back down at her drawing pad and started drawing. "_Bado. Bado. Bado bado bado. Bado. Bado. Bado bado bado!" _She turned the paper around so Riley could see it.

It was a picture of Riley, looking like she did right now. With some really bad hair.

Riley picked up a pillow and tossed it at Maya, who dodged it.

"Hey, actually I'll meet you at school. There is something I need to do first." Maya said standing up and opened the window.

"Ok."

And with that, Maya went through the window, leaving it open.

_Knock, knock, knock_

"Come in." Riley called.

Topanga walked in.

"Oh good you're up. I was just coming to check on you."

Topanga noticed that the window was open.

"Hey, why is your window open?"

"Maya just left, and she didn't close it when she went through it."

"Ok, well hurry up. I made you some breakfast."

"Okay mom."

Topanga left the room, closing the door behind her. Riley got dressed in a pink flowered print dress and pink leggings. She grabbed her things and left her room. Once in the kitchen, Riley tossed her bag on the back of the couch and made her way over to the kitchen, sitting in her normal spot. Her dad sat at the head of the table and her mom was standing in front the stove.

"Here you go honey." Said her mom as she placed a bowl of oatmeal in front of her.

"Thanks mom."

"Good morning Riley." Said her dad.

"Morning dad."

Auggie, Riley's five year-old brother, came walking in and sat next to her.

"Good morning Riley." He asked.

"Good morning Auggie. How did you sleep?" She replied.

"Good. You?"

"Good. I dreamt of Maya," the three other Matthews' looked at each other. "Which is weird, since I usually dream of Lucas." She ignored the look she got from her dad. "But, anyway, in the dream we went shopping and to the movies and we had another paint fight." Riley said smiling. "I can't wait til I get to school to tell her."

"I dreamt of Ava!" Auggie said.

"Ugh." Topanga said.

Riley looked up at the clock as she finished her breakfast.

_7:00_

"Oh, I should get going." She got up and walked over to the couch, grabbed her bag and put it on. "Bye mom, Auggie see you after school. See you at school dad."

"Bye Riley," they said.

She made her way to the door and opened it and turned back to her family.

"Oh, yeah. Since it's Friday, can Maya spend the night, mom?"

"Ya, sure. Thats fine."

"Okay, thanks." She turned back to the door, closing it as she left.

Auggie got up and went to get ready for school. Cory looked at Topanga. Topanga kept looking at her bowl of oatmeal.

"We need to do something, Topanga."

Topanga sighed, put her spoon down, and looked up at her husband.

"I know Cory. But what?"

Cory sighed.

"I know who to talk to, but we need to do it. And soon. Before it gets worse."

Riley walked into John Quincy Adams Middle School with a big smile on her face. She went over to her locker and got her and Maya's books out of her locker and put them in her bag. Then all of a sudden her locker slams close.

"Hey. Sorry that closed easier than I thought it would."

Riley expected to see Maya but it was Lucas who was standing to her left. She smiled. He smiled back.

"Hey Lucas."

"How are you today?"

"I'm good. How are you?"

"I'm good too."

"Farke is good too."

The two friends turned to see their other friend walk up to them. They said their hellos again.

"Hey have you guys seen Maya yet today?" Riley asked.

The two boys looked at each other and turned back to their friend.

"No, we haven't." Lucas answered shaking his head.

"Oh okay. I'll just go see if I can find her before class starts."

They said their goodbyes and she walked off, leaving the boys where they stood.

Farkle looked at Lucas.

"I hate this."

"Me too, buddy."

"I wish we didn't have to lie to her. It's not like she doesn't know the truth. Why is she acting like this?"

"Ya, but if we just came out and told her, it would destroy her. And she's acting like like because her brain just doesn't want to accept the truth. In time, she will come around and acknowledge the truth."

The two walked off heading to class.

Riley walked into her History class, which was her dad's class. She walked over to her desk in front of Lucas' desk, pulling out both hers and Maya's books. Putting hers on her desk and Maya's on the desk next to her. She had seen Maya just before she walked into the classroom, she had to run to the bathroom, so she wasn't there yet. Cory was sitting at his desk, he sat up when she came in, watching her every move.

"Riley, will you come up here please?"

Riley got up and walked up to her dad's desk.

"Yes?"

He picked up a hall pass and handed it to her.

"Please go see Mrs. Taylor." Mrs. Taylor was the school's counselor.

"Why? What's wrong?"

"Nothing. It's just... um... mandatory for seventh grade girls to see the counselor." Cory stated.

Riley shrugged and took the note.

"Make sure Maya takes her books with her, they're heavy." She turned back to her desk, put her book away, grabbed her bag and walked out the door. Riley made her way to the counseling office and knocked on Mrs. Taylor's door. Mrs. Taylor, a young lady in her late twenties/ early thirties, with short brown hair and blue eyes, opened the door.

"Hello Riley." She said smiling.

"Hello Mrs. Taylor."

"Come on in." Mrs. Taylor opened the door and Riley walked in. Riley sat on the couch that was in the middle of the room. "Do you know why you're here?"

"My dad said that it was mandatory for seventh grade girls, but I know that my dad was lying. He's a pretty bad liar." Riley said.

Mrs. Taylor smiled.

"We're here to talk about Maya." She said softly.

For some reason, Riley's heart started to race.

"What did Maya do now? I told her just yesterday that she had to stop skipping class, she's been doing that a lot lately."

Mrs. Taylor looked at Riley sadly.

"Riley, you know that Maya's not-"

"I've also told her to stop pulling pranks on people. She did this funny prank on Farkle the other day, he walked around school with a purple face all day." Riley said jumping up, pacing around the room.

"Riley, Maya's-"

"And I know she needs to start doing her homework. If she doesn't do it she will never get good grades, without good grades she will never get into a good college, without a good college she will never have a good life, and-"

"Riley calm down. You're going to have another panic attack."

"She'll have to steal a banana to eat and she will go to jail, and in jail she will have to steal shower shoes because she doesn't have any, and she will get toe fungus because they are not her shower shoes..." Riley said working herself into a panic attack. She just stood in the middle of the room, unable to breath.

Mrs. Taylor rushed over to the hyperventilating girl and pulled her into a hug as she walked the both of the back to the couch to sit. Riley rested her head on her shoulder, breathing heavily but calming down, closed her eyes.

"Shhh. Its okay." Said Mrs. Taylor. "Riley, you do know that Maya is not here, right?"

Riley didn't say anything. The counselor thought that she had fallen asleep. She laid the girl down on the couch and left the room. When the door clicked closed, Riley opened her eyes and sat up. She looked at the other end of the couch and saw she best friend staring back.

"You're not here?" Riley asked.

Maya looked at her sadly.

"No, not really."

"Where are you?"

"You know where I am, Riles."

Both girls teared up.

"I do. But it still hurts." Riley put her head on Maya's shoulder.

"I know, little plant. Me too."

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**So be honest, how was it? please follow, favorite and review. And check out my other GMW stories while you're at it. Let me know if you have any ideas for the story, ect.**

**Peace!**

**-Cassie-the-Librarian**


	2. What happened

**Hey guys sorry for the late update. Here you go, enjoy.**

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Cory Matthews watched his daughter inside Mrs. Taylor's office after she left, sadly. He knew how hard she was taking the whole Maya situation. He could only imagine the pain and emotions that she must be feeling. It had been hard on everyone.

_Flashback_

_Maya and Riley were walking to school. They were talking about the test they were going to have in Cory's class that day. Well Riley was talking about it, Maya was listening absentmindedly. Maya felt a tug on her jacket sleeve. She looked over at her best friend._

_"What?"_

_"Maya, you almost walked into the street."_

_Maya looked in front of her. She was standing on the edge of the curb. Cars flew by._

_"Oh... um, thanks."_

_They started walking again when the crosswalk light said it was safe to cross. Riley wondered what Maya was thinking about._

It's not like her to not pay attention like that. She could've been hit by a car. I wonder if she's nervous about something. Sometimes I tend to think a lot when I'm nervous about something. I wonder if she's nervous about dad's test-

_Riley's thoughts were cut short._

_"RILEY, LOOK OUT!" Maya screamed from the curb as a car came flying through the intersection. Because she had been thinking, Riley had sped up in front of Maya. Maya just passing the middle lane for the four lane street and Riley in the middle of the last lane, right where the car was headed. Riley, of course, stopped dead in her tracks, wide-eyed. Maya ran towards Riley, pushing her out of the way but got hit herself. She flew in the air, her head hit the curb._

_"MAYA!"_

Cory closed his eyes, shaking his head as he walked towards his classroom. He didn't like thinking about that day. It was a day that had affected everyone's life, mainly his daughters. He wished that she didn't have to, but Riley was going to have to learn how to move on.

Riley decided to take a walk after school through Central Park, Maya's favorite place, or it use to be. She walked to a certain place in the park that had a pond and tree around it. The two friends always liked to go there. It was so peaceful, no one else knew it was even there. Riley sat against a tree looking toward the water.

"I don't know what to do Maya. I miss you so much. I don't know what I'm going to do without you."

Maya appeared beside her.

"I know Riles. Me too." The blonde said.

"I don't want to be without you."

"I don't want to be without you either, but I have to, same with you. You have to keep living."

Riley sighed. It was hard being without her best friend. They had been through so much with each other and had token on the world together, but now Riley would have to continue alone.

"But I'm alone. I don't know I can."

Maya gave her a small smile.

"But you're not alone, Riles. You have your mom and dad and Auggie and Farkle and Lucas and Mrs. Taylor and the rest of your family and friends." Maya then turned serious. "You will never be alone, Riley. Never forget that. Never think that no one knows what you're going through. Ok?"

"Ok."

Riley moved her head so it was on Maya's shoulder but when she disappeared, her head was leaning against the tree. Riley sighed again.

When Riley decided to go home, it was already dark. She had missed her 7 pm curfew by half an hour. When she walked in the front door her parents jumped up. Topanga hugged her.

"Riley, where have you been? We've been worried sick. We were worried something happened to you. Do you know what time it is?"

Riley pushed her mom away.

"Oh, now you're worried about me? When Maya was here you _wanted_ her to keep me out. But now she that she's not, you don't want me to stay out. Make up your _stupid_ mind!" She stated. She stormed to her bedroom, slamming her door. Then she crawled into her bed, fully clothed, and cried herself to sleep.

Cory and Topanga were worried about their daughter. Riley had never acted that way before. They knew she had been through a lot and they knew what she was going to have to go through to heal, but the outburst still shocked them.

"What are we going to do? I hate to see her in pain and this is going to hurt her a lot." Topanga said to Cory as they got ready for bed. Cory came around the bed and took his wife into his arms.

"Don't worry, Topanga. We will handle this. I'll talk to Farkle and Lucas tomorrow about it too, so they can try to help." The two kissed and went to bed.

Riley woke up and found the world dark and lonely. She got dressed in normal pants and a baggy sweatshirt, something Maya left over at her house once when she spent the night. She didn't know why she put it on, just that she wanted to feel close to Maya. Instead of going in and having breakfast with her family, Riley grabbed her bag and went out her window. She didn't feel like talking to them, especially after what happened last night. Once she was on the ground, she decided to walk to school. She didn't care if she would be late, she just didn't want to talk to anyone. As she walked, Riley thought about the past.

_Flashback _

_Riley ran over to Maya, who was laying on the ground, as other bystanders called 911._

_"Maya, hold on. Help is coming." She looked down at her best friend and her stomach twisted. The was a red liquid on the concrete under her head. Maya took Riley's hand in hers, intertwining their fingers._

_"I'm... I'm sorry."_

_"What are you sorry for?"_

_"You should have been walking with me with me. _You _almost got hit."_

_Police and an ambulance pull up but Riley's focus is somewhere else. A tear rolled down Riley's check._

_"You don't have to protect me, Maya. Because you did, because of me, you got hit."_

_Maya looked at her friend with tears in both of their eyes. A paramedic pulled Riley off to the side. As she moved their hands, that they were holding onto each other with, suddenly felt cold without each other there. _

_"Hello sweetheart, can you tell me your name?"_

_"M-Maya Hart."_

_"Ok, good Maya. Can you tell me how old you are?" The paramedic asked as she wrapped a neck brace gently around the girls neck._

_"Fourteen."_

_"Very good. Ok Maya we are going to move you over to the stretcher. It might hurt a little, just let me know ok?" _

_"Ok."_

_The paramedics gently lifted Maya onto the waiting stretcher and fastened her on so she wouldn't fall off. Riley followed behind like a lost puppy._

_"Is there someone you'd like to come with?" They asked Maya when they got her in the ambulance._

_"Riley." Maya called._

_Riley jumped up inside and put a gentle hand on her best friends arm._

_"I'm right here, Maya."_

_"Don't leave me, ok?"_

_"I'll never leave you Maya." _

_The back doors closed and they took off down the street._

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**So, how was it? Follow/favorite/review.**

**Peace!**

**Cassie-the-Librarian**


	3. Mean Kids

**Hey guys. Sorry that I haven't uploaded anything new in a month. Ok so I think I know where I want to go with the story now. Sitting at my computer trying to write this chapter, I had no idea where to go with this chapter. But I think I have a general direction now. I will update the summary soon and adjust the rating to fit my idea.**

**Disclaimer I don't own GMW or Twitter.**

**Some shout outs:**

**laceygirl03- Thanks for the review! :-)**

**Thepopcornpup- Thanks for the review!**

**Guest- Aww don't cry!**

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When Riley finally got to school, she was late to her father's class by ten minutes. She kept her eyes looking at the floor when she went in so she didn't look at anyone. Cory paused when she came in but then continued. Before class, he had took Lucas and Farkle aside and explained the situation to them. That Riley knew. They were both relieved that they didn't have to lie to her anymore and saddened because Riley wouldn't be the same, she'd be hurting.

Riley leaned back in her chair and tuned out her father's whole lesson. She didn't feel like paying attention, besides she could always just ask Farkle and Lucas for the notes later. When the bell rang, she stayed in her seat until Farkle, Lucas, Cory and her were the last ones in the room. When it was clear that none of the boys were going to leave, Riley got up, grabbed her bag and left.

(Skip to Lunch)

Riley entered the lunch room alone. She had avoided talking to everyone all day. But now she feared she would have to. when Geralyn handed her her tray, Riley gave a small smile.

"Thanks," she mumbled and walked away. Geralyn watched her walk away and her heart broke for the poor girl.

Riley went to her usual table because she didn't know where else to go. Soon, Lucas and Farkle came and sat down beside her. They didn't saw anything as she must sat there playing with her food. Usually she ate the food so they were worried. What they didn't see or know, was that riley was trying to hold it together. Lunch had been Maya's favorite time of the day.

"So..." Lucas said awkwardly. "Riley, want to hang out after school?"

"I can't." Riley got up and walked out of the lunch room leaving her tray on the table for her friends to take care of.

Riley walked around the school, looking down. She knew people were looking at her and whispering to their friends. She decided to skip the rest of her classes. She didn't know why she didn't want to go, but she didn't. She walked down the street as adults looked at her as they walked by. Riley sighed. Why couldn't people just leave her alone? Why were the always staring at her? Riley walked home. No one was there because her parents were both still at work and Auggie was still at school. But that was fine, she still didn't want to talk to anyone anyway. She walked to her bedroom and sat down in the window seat, hoping Maya would come. She even opened the window, but Maya never came. Riley thought back to how this had happened.

_Flashback_

_Once they got to the hospital, Riley was held back so the doctors could take Maya into surgery. Riley didn't want to be away from her best friend but she knew that she had to so Maya could get help. One other nurses led Riley over to the front rest so she could call her parents. She called her dad first._

_Cory was in his classroom, airing for the bell to ring._

Ring ring

_He looked down a this phone. That was no the ring he was expecting. He picked it up and looked at the caller id._

Riley

_He answered it._

_"Hey Riley. What's up couldn't you just wait to talk to me when you got to class?" He looked at his class. All of the chairs were full except hers and Mayas. "Wait, where are you? Class is about to start." Then he heard sobs coming from the other end of the line._

_"Daddy, Maya was hit by a car!"_

_"What!-"_

_"We're at Liberty United Hospital. Please hurry dad. I'm scared."_

_"I'll be there soon hun. I'll also call your mom and Maya's mom too." He hung up. The class was looking at him worryingly._

_"What's wrong sir?" Lucas asked._

_Cory took a ragged deep breath._

_"Maya was hit by a car on their way to school."_

_The class got loud, expressing their concerns._

_"What about Riley?" Lucas asked over everyone else._

_"Riley seems ok, a little shaken up though. Now I have to go. Lucas can you go to the office and tell them where I went?"_

_"Yes sir." Lucas said as he got up and left behind Cory._

_On his way to the hospital, Cory called Topanga and Katy Hart and told them. Both women cried when they heard the news and told him that they would be right over. Cory parked and made his way inside, where he found his daughter crying alone in the waiting room. He rushed over to her and wrapped his arms around her and she turned and cried into his chest. They sat like that for ten minutes until Topanga and Katy walked and rushed over to them. Topanga switched places with Cory to comfort Riley._

_"Have you heard anything?" Katy asked._

_"No, I haven't. Nobody came over here since I got here. Riley, has anybody told you anything?"_

_Riley stood up and crossed the room, her eyes red and puffy._

_"No, nobody's told me anything. But it... It... was bad." Riley got a far away look in her eyes. "There was so much blood. It was all my fault. If I had been walking with Maya instead of in front of her, Maya wouldn't have had to push me out of the way. And she wouldn't have been hit. Its all my fault..."_

_Katy crossed the room and placed a gentle hand on her shoulder._

_"Riley, there's only one person at fault here, and it isn't yours or Maya's. That person who hit her, it's their fault. There is no point in beating yourself for something that you have no control over."_

_Riley looked at Katy with sad eyes, her lip trembling._

_"I'm sorry."_

_"It's not your fault."_

_The two hugged each other and took comfort in the others presence, both in different ways. The doctor walked up._

_"Maya Harts family?"_

_The group rushed over. They tried to read his face._

_"Is she ok?"_

_Riley looked into his eyes but saw something she didn't want to see. She took a step back into her mom._

_"No!" she cried, and rushed out of the room._

_The three adults watched her leave, startled then turned back to the doctor._

_"Let's sit down."_

_They all sat down._

_"I'm afraid I have some bad news. Im sorry to say that Maya did not survive the surgery."_

_Topanga wrapped her arms around Katy and they both started crying. Cory followed the doctor out of the room and went left. Soon he found Riley in at the end of the hall, staring out the window._

_"Riley?" Cory said as he approached his daughter. Riley didn't answer; he assumed she was crying. But as he got closer, he saw that her eyes were dry and she had the faraway look in her eyes. Cory placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. When she didn't react, Cory pulled her into his arms and they stayed like that until Topanga and Katy._

Riley woke up on her bed in tears and sweat. There was a gentle knock on her door.

"Riley, dinner is ready." Called her mom.

"Ok."

Riley sat up with her legs over the side of her bed and put her head in her hands.

_I can't do this. I can't do it without Maya. I don't know what to do._

Riley sighed and got up and walked to the table. She sat down without a single word to anyone. Topanga sat a plate in front of her. While everyone was eating, Riley sat there and played with her food. Cory and Topanga sat at the other end of the table and stole glances at their daughter and at each other.

"Can I be excused?" Riley asked.

"Riley you need to eat." Topanga said.

Riley looked at her plate. She felt queasy just looking at it.

"Can I take it with me? I... I just have a lot of homework to do."

"Ok, Riley go ahead." Cory said.

Riley picked up her plate and went to her bedroom. Once inside with the door closed, she placed the plate on her bedside table and grabbed her laptop. She signed into Twitter and went to her page.

Pretty_Princess- _ Riley_Matthews is a psycho. She got her best friend and she acts like didn't do anything!_

Curly_Sue_\- Pretty_Princess I know right! Someone should lock her up and throw away the key._

Pretty_Princess- Curly_Sue _Totally! At least then no one would have to suffer and see her pukey face!_

Tiger_Lover- _No one even likes Riley_Mathews. The only person who liked her was Maya, and she killed her!_

Riley slammed her laptop closed and tossed it to the foot of her bed and got up and paced around her room close to tears. The smell of her dinner started to burn her nose but her stomach was queasy. She walked over to it, pick it up and walked over to her window. She reached over with one hand and opened the window. Riley reached over and dumped her food out the window. Once done, she closed the window, placed the plate back on the bedside table and crawled into bed fully clothed.

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**So... What do you think? Be honest. Please favorite/follow/review!**

**Peace!**

**Cassie-the-Librarian**


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